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Slacking [Oct. 3rd, 2007|09:03 am]
[mood |nerdynerdy]

What I should be doing:
  • Two short essays on poetry due Thursday night. Only about 2/5ths done at the moment.
  • Write a sonnet of dubious quality
  • Finish an already mostly-done bluebook post for Saturday's DnD game
What I am doing:
  • Posting on LJ
It's kinda sad. Actually there are other things I could be doing to distract myself that are in no way serious obligations (bluebook post, or even planning for my Werewolf game), but I'm even unmotivated to do those this morning. I'm slacking on my slacking. Now that's slacking.
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Reflections of / The way we used to be [Sep. 25th, 2007|09:01 pm]
[mood |nostalgicnostalgic]


It has been awhile since I posted anything of import. Not that I ever really did before. I see there was a brief moment about a year ago when I couldn't stand the mind-numbingness at AT&T that I spit a couple out. Probably about as long as this will last.

Still, it's kind of odd to look back at what's still on my first page here. To think of what has transpired since then. At the time it seemed such a yawning gulf before me, filled with the unknown. If anything, the intervening years have taught me that life goes on, if you give it a chance. But that giving it a chance also requires a lot of effort, both in trying something new as well as avoiding (now-)familiar pitfalls.

Most recently, going to Berkeley was a good thing. Coming back... well, I can't say it wasn't a good thing as well. I'm much happier with the new job, I'm back in school, I'm back geeking out with friends. Money's being saved more than it's being spent for the first time in awhile. I'm still aiming for something in the future, a sensation which I doubt I'll ever manage to completely satisfy, but at least it feels like I'm making good progress  towards it.

Looking back, there are still so many things I wish had gone a different way. On the other hand, I wouldn't be where I am now if they had. Does that mean that things would have been worse if they had? Or better? I don't know. But I can work with what I got now. Make it into something. I suppose that's the best that can be said about any situation: I am in control. I always have been, really, it just hasn't been apparent at some points.

Though I do wonder where I'll be in four years, looking back on this post.
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Me me me meeeeeme! [Sep. 25th, 2007|01:27 pm]
I highly doubt anyone will even read this, but obligatory meme-rules from fivedesix:

The way this works is you make a comment to the entry if you want to participate. I pick seven of your interests, and then you make an entry explaining what those seven interests are. Other people comment to -your- entry, etc etc."

1) fruits basket
My enjoyment of this (along with Maison Ikkoku) is almost embarrassing (except that I know no one will read this). A girl living in the woods after her grandfather dies meets up with a bizarre extended family who happen to be possessed by the spirits of the zodiac (rat, ox, boar, etc). They turn into their animal when under stress or (and, yes, this is stupid), when hugged by someone of the opposite gender. Overlooking that bit of silliness, there's actually a bittersweet story underneath. Acceptance amongst mutual outcasts, internal drama, and not a small amount of ambiguous sexual identities.

2) otherland
Tad Williams' four-volume epic. Back when I still had 'I wanna write big stories!' in my head, Tad came along and stole all my ideas and put them in a much more entertaining series than I could have managed. Shadowy conspiracies, stolen children, a "virtual" reality that's far more real than even its creators understand. It was a perfect way to blend fantasy with reality in a way that didn't tip too far in either direction. I haven't read it for a few years (though I've heard it calling from the bookshelf recently), but I could hardly put it down when I did.

3) waking life
An animated movie, but done in a weird way. Basically it was all filmed with real-life actors and then they animated over the film, which perfectly suited its theme. There would be scenes that would be perfect reality (standing in a bus terminal, for ex), but then weird stuff would start happening around the edges and then next thing you know it's a completely dreamlike situation. Less of a plot and more of an extended discourse on the nature of waking reality versus dreaming (and how can you tell the difference?). I used to lucid dream almost every night (being asleep, dreaming, but consciously aware that I was dreaming), and was amazed when I came across this movie. Now that I've entered my Grump years, I sigh wistfully and think that someday I might get around to playing with my dreams again.

4) hard house
Hard house and all that comes with it. My taste in electronic music evolved in pretty much the standard fashion (as far as I can tell). Trance, house, then everything else. But yeah, I like to dance. Hard house makes me dance. It (along with good DnB/Jungle) evokes the same sort of cathartic aggression that I used to get when listening to metal back in the long-haired days. Only, y'know, I get to dance to it. :) ... Now I need to get to a rave again. It's been way too long.

5) circus clowns
Heh. I haven't brought this one up recently. But for awhile one of my standard answers was 'circus clowns'. It fits in so many situations. Usually in response to questions such as "You know what ___?" (You know what really sucks? You know what I did last night? You know where you're going?) I think my girl being a black belt might be one reason I've not used this as much of late.

6) adderall
It's like speed, only good for you. Well, not exactly. But a long time ago in a forum far, far away, I wrote a love letter to Adderall. I'd just been diagnosed (finally) with ADD, and started out on the drug. I was on-task, I could prioritize, I could put something off until later and *remember*. And I thought "Holy shit. Do normal people *always* think this way?" And as a nice side effect occasionally I'd get a little buzz off of it (but I tried to keep that to a minimum). Of course the occasional sleepless night wasn't particularly fun, but as a whole it did me a world of good. I actually got a lot of writing done too. Someday I'll get back on it. Just, y'know, need insurance first.

7) Tom Waits
Mmm, Tom Waits. I first heard him when I was working in my brother's ceramic studio stoned off my gourd. It was incredible. He growls, he wails, he stomps, he tries all sorts of things. He's like a dirty uncle with the best stories. The dark side of things isn't to be frightened of with him, it's to be reveled in. "Underground" is something I'll play to my kids when they're going to sleep. Sure there's monsters under the bed, but that's awesome.
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(no subject) [Sep. 5th, 2006|05:01 pm]


33% Extroversion, 80% Intuition, 72% Emotiveness, 71% Perceptiveness

You are an artist, an aesthete, a sensitive, and someone who has never really let go of that childlike innocence. To you, all of life has a sense of wonder in it, and the story of Orpheus was written about someone just like you.

When the Argo passed the island of the Sirens, Orpheus played a song more beautiful than the Sirens to prevent the crew from becoming enticed. When his wife died, he ventured into the underworld to charm Hades but, in his naivete, he looked back becoming trapped there.

You can capture your unique world view and relate it to others with the skill of a master storyteller. Your sensitivity and creativity make you a treasure to the human race, but your thin-skinned nature and innocence can cause you a lot of disenchantment and pain. What's doubly unfortunate is that, if you try to lose those traits, you never will, and everyone will be able to tell that you're putting up an artificial shell to prevent yourself from being hurt.

Famous people like you: Hemingway, Shakespeare, Mr. Rogers, Melville, Nick Tosches

Stay clear of: Icarus, Hermes, Atlas

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Extroversion
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Intuition
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Emotiveness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Perceptiveness

Link: The Greek Mythology Personality Test written by Aleph_Nine on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
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Pet Peeve [Aug. 31st, 2006|04:24 pm]
[mood |nerdynerdy]

Lose vs. Loose

If you loose* something (straps, Dogs of War), it is loosened or even unleashed.

If you lose something (keys, sense of self respect), it is lost.

Yes, I know it's been ranted about many times by many people, but it just goes up my spine after I've seen it for the 50th time. It's pretty bad when I feel like congratulating people for using the correct word.

You know, it's probably BECAUSE I've seen people rant about it before that it drives me so unreasonably nuts. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.

Oh well, these are the same ones who think rouges go around waylaying people and stealing their stuff.

*Loosen, I know. But if they spelled it that way, this wouldn't apply to them.
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Meme! [Aug. 14th, 2006|07:28 pm]
[mood |boredbored]

Pointless update just because I can.

Stolen from dearmary

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. No digging for the "cool" or "intellectual" book in the room. We all saw you think it. Get whatever is traditionally held to be physically closest.

Or occasionally, when a Sesame Street Character would ask a question, you'd hear kids answer out loud. But Sesame Street just somehow never took that idea and ran with it. They knew that kids did this some of the time, but they never tried to build a show around that idea.

That's The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell, the book I'm reading now. Distance-wise it's probably the same or a little further as the stack of books in my drawer but I figured effort counted against those. The next closest book would have been Hamlet, act 3 scene 1, which I like to keep close just in case memes come along that ask me to look smart. :) Beneath that... well, it's a good thing I had The Tipping Point handy. I went on a fantasy binge a little while back. :) Which is part of the reason I swung back to non-fiction.

edit: okay, so I suck when it comes to the ljuser tag... but then again it's not like I'm going to update again for another couple of years, so nyeah :P
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[nelson]Haw haw![/nelson] [Jan. 17th, 2005|08:29 am]
[mood |workingworking]
[music |office white noise]

See? This is why I'm happy with my new blog. It doesn't crash all weekend and ruin my life.

Anyways, the first of some pics from my weekend are up. Go and see and then post comments demanding why I didn't come and see you while I was up there.
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I live! [Jan. 13th, 2005|05:00 pm]
[mood |creativecreative]
[music |"Walking with a Ghost" stuck in the back of my head]

And with a shiny new blog too. Yeah, yeah. I suppose I could just resume with the LJ, but I'm kinda digging this Blogger thingy. Plus it has the convenience of having my friends all hooked up, so when I have long, interminable silences you can at least guess what I'm up to by checking their blogs. Likely I'm involved at least peripherally with whatever they're doing.

Comment here, there, wherever. The ICQ's still silent due to my computer having been turned on all of once in the past 2 months, but my email's back up to date.

Not that I'm really expecting anyone to still be reading my LJ. I sure as fuck wouldn't be by now. Still, on the off chance, here's the reconnect.

(edit: I'm still settling on a template, so, yeah, it might be ugly for a bit)
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Reflections on the Past [Nov. 21st, 2003|04:54 pm]
[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]
[music |Gravity Kills - Down (Lords of Acid Power Remix)]

One of the book's more incredible episodes recounts how Newton obtained his visa. Summoned to Gestapo headquarters after requesting to leave Germany, Newton found himself in the presence of an officer who rained abuse upon him, calling him a Jewish pig, interrupting himself only to send his secretary on an errand. As soon as the woman was gone, the officer's tone became quiet and urgent, giving Newton information on where to get a passport and stressing how important it was for him to get out of Germany as quickly as possible. When the secretary returned, the officer went back into his previous performance, screaming "Get out, you Jew bastard!" But he had very likely saved Newton's life.

Nazi Germany has always fascinated me, especially how an entire country got twisted into a force of evil with such mechanical precision. But here and there, you hear snippets of purely human moments like this.
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It's a Salon day. [Nov. 20th, 2003|01:17 pm]
[mood |anxiousanxious]
[music |Janes Addiction - The Riches]

Bobby Kennedy Jr. on Bush's Environmental Policy

The same thing happened in Germany, Italy and Spain during the fascist takeover in the 1920s and '30s -- you had industrialists flooding the ministries and running the ministries, and running them in many ways for their own profit. If you read the American Heritage Dictionary definition of fascism, it says "the domination of a government by corporations of the political right, combined with bellicose nationalism."

Heil Bush.
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